Originally broadcast on television as individual episodes in 2007-2008.
Berta: And you're an ass.Īlan: You know what, Charlie? You're impossible! I give up. Alan: You, uh, you do a lot of lifting? Of course you do. It's just that when you drank it, it just felt like Christmas morning and anything was possible. I mean, nutmeg, cinnamon, powdered reindeer. Alan: Wh- what does that mean, "Christmassy"? What- Charlie: It means "like Christmas". it's her coffee! I just- I just pushed the button. You're starting to sound like a tampon commercial.Īlan: I even made your coffee. We can go to Disneyland, we can play miniature golf, go bowling, bike riding, whatever you want. Jake: AAlan: No, it's OK, pal, we'll have a great weekend. Judith: He can't go in the water this weekend, he's got an ear infection. Cab Driver: You know, many psychologists agree: Until the core maternal relationship is resolved, most men are doomed to repeat dysfunctional childhood patterns. Alan: That's right! And - and she made him so scared of intimacy that - that he has just this endless stream of gorgeous girls running in and out of his life. My mother took my baby brother and dipped him in sissy sauce, and turned him into the people-pleasing control freak you see today. Charlie: Ah, you have no idea, my friend. Why would I drive 50 miles to see their kingdom?Ĭab Driver: Your mother sounds like a real piece of work. Charlie: Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one small rodent in my house. I thought maybe you'd want to come with us. We're getting up early to go to Disneyland. 10.23 The Straw In My Donut Hole Īlan: We can't go out tonight.10.13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion.10.1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt.9.12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead.9.2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer.8.10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room.8.4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator.8.2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation.7.24 Baseball Was Better With Steroids.7.16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime.7.14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie.7.10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited.
6.15 Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle).6.12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh.6.7 The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room.
5.14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami.5.7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head.4.24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite.4.20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro.4.17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauser.4.4 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs.4.2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover.4.1 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts.3.23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab.3.19 A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise.3.16 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?.3.14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut.3.11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos.3.8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers.3.7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana.3.6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance.2.20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark.2.19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You.2.17 Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats.2.15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (Part 1).2.11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor.2.8 Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful.2.7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake.2.6 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?.2.5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump.2.4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap.2.3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell.2.1 Pilot / Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal.
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